“You are the general, a smooth game-publishing machine. Budget? Check. Vertical Slice ready? Check. Marketing knows why your game matters? And how! You’re so smooth your developers refer to time before they worked with you as the “Dark Scary Time.” You were put here on this planet for the sole purpose of bringing high-quality video games to expectant gamers like a Next-Generation Digital Distribution Stork. Your games make Cert on time, every time. Don’t believe the hype, it’s selling you short. If this sounds like you, and you strive to provide a narrative experience rivaled only by Hollywood blockbuster movies, we want to hear from you.”

– One of the strangest job ads ever.